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About Varied / Hobbyist Rena Vaz (Laurena Vazquez)Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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''Look down at me and you see a fool; look up at me and you see a god; look straight at me and you see yourself.''

-Charles Manson <3




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Rena Vaz (Laurena Vazquez)
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
On December 16th, 2013, I lost my heart and soul, boyfriend and best friend to suicide.
The heartache is irrevocable...
Nov. 13. 1991
Dec. 16. 2013

But for some, there is still hope.
Please allow me to implore you to reach out to those who are hurting
You could just save their life.
Almost 4 weeks ago, on December 16th, I lost my truest love and boyfriend of 2 years, to suicide.

I have always considered myself a strong person but I find that belief, and many others, to be shaken as of late.

I have never been in loved so much, or loved so much, in all of my 20 years.

A shadow of despair and sorrow have set over where the sun used to set for me.
It feels as if a rotted lump of cancer has taken the place of a once beating heart, inside my chest.

Every single day is a struggle beyond strength and endurance, to move out of bed and find the will, or might to go on.

Life was a journey - a glorious, healing and growing journey, until he decided to end it all.
I doubt I will ever forgive him for this, and I know I will never forgive myself - All those times and nights he saved me, yet I couldn't save him. Grief and woe have replaced all other emotions felt.
The heartache is irrevocable......

And I know Andrew would want me to live, thrive and be all I dreamed to be, behind closed eyelids.
He would want me to live life for the both of us, find it in myself to forgive him and pick up the pieces.
But this isn't something you "heal" from. This isn't something you plan to cope with.

There is nothing more valuable or dear that could have been taken from me.
When he pulled the trigger, he took me with him.

In loving memory of Andrew Dalton Salsman.
Auf wiedersehen zu meine wahre liebe.
Te extrano y te quiero mucho.

Nov. 13. 1991
Dec. 16. 2013

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suntwirl Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2015   General Artist
sorry, a bit late, but thank you for the :+fav: :D
Mdame-Candice-V Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you soo much for the :+fav:! :huggle: :meow:
SmudgeThistle Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2014  Hobbyist
Thank you very much for the favourite on my Crow drawing! :D
Runa14 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the favorite! :hug:
starauthor Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fave
Pevansy Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the faves :)
mirpiphotography Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2014   Photographer
thank you :heart:
DPForPrez Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Chilloot Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2014
Thanks for the fav' on Kida!
Angelika-san Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thankee for the fav ^_~
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